Find Your Style in Minutes (3 Non-Negotiables Method)

I’m going to share how you can find your style in minutes. Most of us only wear about 20% of what’s in our closet; we are going to change that. Knowing your personal style makes it so much easier to build a wardrobe you genuinely love. But knowing your personal style isn’t always easy. With constant influence from trends, social media, and whatever we’re seeing in stores and online, it can be hard to tune in to what we truly like and feel best in.

A simple exercise to help you identify your personal style is to find your three non-negotiables. These are the things an item must have to stay in your wardrobe, or the things it must have before you bring it into your closet. Once you know your non-negotiables, building a closet you’ll wear becomes so much easier. When we shop, what we buy usually has more to do with how we’re feeling. There’s a lot of emotion tied up in buying clothes.

If you’re someone who only wears 20% of what you own, it’s probably because you didn’t know your non-negotiables and bought items based on emotion instead of using criteria that help you decide whether something is truly wearable for your life. Let’s talk about some of the most common non-negotiables and see which ones resonate with you.

Find Your Style in Minutes (3 Non-Negotiables Method)

Common Non-Negotiable #1: Quality

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A piece has to be a quality item. This is a big non-negotiable for me. I won’t bring something into my closet if it isn’t well-made, or if I know it won’t last because I won’t wear it. Maybe it looks fine the first time I put it on, but after a few wears or a wash or two, it loses its shape, and I never reach for it again. Quality is a major non-negotiable.

Common Non-Negotiable #2: Fabric

Another non-negotiable is fabric. What fabrics are you naturally drawn to? Which ones feel good on your body, and which ones do you never reach for? For me, if I’m considering a piece and it’s made of polyester or another synthetic fabric, I already know it won’t feel good on my skin, and I won’t reach for it. So fabric is another big non-negotiable for me.

Common Non-Negotiable #3: Color Palette

The next thing is your color palette. What color or colors do you enjoy wearing, and which ones don’t make you feel your best? Sometimes we’re out shopping and grab something in a color we don’t typically wear because we want to try something new. But what I’ve found is that those pieces often end up being the ones we never reach for. For me, I prefer neutrals. If I do wear prints, they’re simple and minimal. I’m not someone who reaches for bright colors, so I stick to the shades I feel best in.

Common Non-Negotiable #4: Silhouette

The next non-negotiable to consider is silhouette. What kinds of silhouettes make you feel good? Do you prefer structure like blazers and tailored pants? Or do you lean toward flowy, fluid pieces like soft linen shirts and silk skirts? Think about the shapes you truly enjoy wearing.

For me, the silhouettes that work best for my shape are simple and streamlined. I tend to avoid things like shoulder pads or extra pleats on my bottom half because they add bulk, and I never feel great in those pieces.

Common Non-Negotiable #5: The Fit

The next non-negotiable is something I think everyone should have on their list. The fit of the piece. Make sure an item fits you well or that you’re willing to get it tailored if it doesn’t fit perfectly. I’ve seen so many closets full of pieces my clients bought because they loved the color, the silhouette, or the style, but they don’t like how they fit. If a piece doesn’t fit you well off the rack and you’re not willing to tailor it, it’s probably not something you should bring into your closet. How an item fits your body plays a huge role in whether you’ll reach for it when you get dressed.

Common Non-Negotiable #6: Comfort

Another non-negotiable is comfort. If you know you won’t reach for anything that feels tight or constricting, then you need pieces that are looser, more relaxed, maybe with elastic waistbands instead of zippers and buttons. So think about your own non-negotiables and the criteria a piece needs to have for you to wear it.

Common Non-Negotiable #7: Style

A common non-negotiable is style. What personal style types do you naturally gravitate toward? For me, I love pieces that are classic, minimal, and have a feminine or romantic quality. If something doesn’t align with any of those style types, there’s a good chance I won’t reach for it. This is also why I stay away from most trendy pieces because I know I won’t be reaching for them six months from now. I want to build a closet I’ll have for a long time, adding pieces thoughtfully and with intention.

How To Find Your Non-Negotiables:

Everyone’s criteria are different, which is why this simple exercise works so well. If you’re home, go to your closet and pull out your three most-worn pieces. The ones you put on and instantly feel good in. That’s step one. Step two is to look closely at these three items. Lay them on your bed, or hang them on a clothing rack if you have one. Think back to the list of possible non-negotiables: colors, patterns, fit, style, fabric, and quality. What personal style types do they fall under? What is it about these pieces that makes you feel confident every time you wear them?

Open a notebook or your phone and write down the qualities that describe these pieces. Maybe they share the same style, are all high quality, or maybe they all have similar silhouettes. What are the three characteristics that stand out the most across all of them? Those are likely your non-negotiables. This is how you figure out your unique personal style and how you can tell whether a new item you’re considering is something you’ll end up wearing.

My Non-Negotiables:

I’m going to list three of my go-to pieces and walk you through this exercise. One of the things I feel best in is a simple, classic t-shirt. I can wear it with a silk skirt, jeans, or trousers. It’s an easy base layer I reach for all the time.

Another piece I always feel great in is a silk midi skirt. It’s in a champagne color, and I love the fit and how effortless it is. It has a simple, streamlined silhouette with feminine elements that all describe my style. It’s also great quality, which is why I reach for it year-round. The third item is my light brown sweater. I love the V-neckline, and the silhouette is classic. It’s also incredibly versatile, and that’s another non-negotiable for me. A piece needs to be something I can style in lots of different ways before it comes into my closet.

My non-negotiables are quality, fit, style, color, and silhouette. I have five, but you can have 3 or more.